Retirement
If you walk into my office, you will immediately notice that items are starting to disappear. Photos, diplomas and ordination certificates have been taken home. By late next week the bookshelves will be almost entirely empty. I have started purging files in my desk drawers and deleting folders of old documents saved on the St. Paul’s server. I won’t throw everything out, of course. I am dividing things into four categories: save for myself, save for the next rector, save for the parish archives and delete/recycle.
I’ve cleaned out a church office twice before, but this time feels very different. I’m not leaving for another ministry. There will be no new office to hold my things. My desk at home is in a guest room, and the bookshelves are already too full to take on extra books. The house has no wall space for the large print of Rembrandt’s Return of the Prodigal Son that Stephanie gave me for our 15th wedding anniversary and has hung in my office since I served in New Hampshire.
Deciding what to hold onto and what to let go of is a strange experience when each item represents some part of the last 43 years of my life (11 years preparing for ordination and 32 years of parish ministry). The 19th century edition of the Bible given to me by my beloved Uncle Gene when I was confirmed in the Diocese of Pennsylvania. The Book of Common Prayer I used for three years in the seminary chapel. The Russian icon I bought during a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with parishioners of my first parish, the Church of the Holy Comforter. The photo of the renovated interior of my second parish, Christ Church. The copy of Blessings on Thee, Old St. Paul’s, Alice Roettger’s and Joe Thompson’s history of our parish. These are the items I’m keeping. There is so much more that will stay at St. Paul’s or find a new home.
As the calendar slips into February, I am increasingly aware that letting go of the stuff in my office is the easy part. It will be so much more difficult, for both Stephanie and me, to let go of each of you who have been so central to our lives these past 13 ½ years.
The final countdown to retirement has begun. Four more Sundays. Three more weeks in the church office. Two more sermons to preach. One more Evensong to officiate. With a heart full of gratitude, I intend to cherish every moment.
