Finding Balance
“Having a very extroverted ministry, how do you care for the introverted part of yourself?” a parishioner asked during this past Sunday’s Rector’s Forum. I thought it was such an interesting way to ask about self-care. Through 32 years of leading parishes, I have thrived in an extroverted ministry. I enjoy spending a lot of my time with people whether that be in meetings, worship, formation or fellowship. But I have an introvert within me that needs to be nurtured.
Wherever we fall on the extrovert/introvert spectrum, we all need to create balance to live a full life. The most extreme extroverts need time set apart for reflection. The most committed introverts need the energy and encouragement that emerges from relationships with others.
Considering my extroverted ministry, it’s important for me to take care of my introverted side. Here are four ways I do that.
I take a nap every Sunday afternoon. I love the high energy of St. Paul’s on Sundays, but I need intentional rest to revive myself.
I begin my day with quiet. I pray, meditate, read, take a walk, look at the paper and drink some coffee. This takes some time, so I get out of bed early to ensure I don’t need to rush.
I commit to setting aside one day a week for sabbath rest (Friday). I limit myself only to necessary tasks and errands to allow plentiful time for rest, reading, walking and baking.
I limit when I look at church email. Each evening, I turn off the notifications on my phone to avoid the temptation to read new emails. I generally don’t look at email again until I’ve finished my early morning routine. For my sabbath, I do not read emails from Thursday evening to Saturday morning. This ensures I rest my mind as well as my body.
I don’t do any of this perfectly, of course. And I recognize that I’m at a point in my life in which I have the space and time for these practices. The years our children grew up limited the time to focus on myself. Then, I felt fortunate to get the Sunday nap and a few minutes to pray in the morning.
How do you find balance in your life? If your life feels extroverted, how do you create time to rest and turn off the noise that infiltrates your life? Can you commit to a few minutes to pray? Can you give yourself permission to set aside the to-do list for a short nap or to read or take a walk? Can you put down the phone and social media for a few minutes to rejoice in the beauty of creation?
If your life feels introverted, how do you create time with others to nurture your need for community? Can you find a ministry at church or a volunteer opportunity in the community? Can you take a walk in your neighborhood and stop along the way for brief conversations with your neighbors? Can you pick up the phone to call a friend or family member who lives in another state?
We live in anxious times, especially as we move closer to the election in November. How we create balance opens us to the peace of Christ which equips us to live faithfully each day and strengthens us to be a blessing for the world around us.
