Feeling Despair

As I started my prayer time on Monday morning, my mind returned to a conversation I had on Sunday with the parishioner who grew up in Pacific Palisades. She lamented the destruction of neighborhoods and places she knew so well, including the church in which she’d been raised. As I was thinking of her anguish, I opened The Divine Hours, Phyllis Tickle’s wonderful three-volume prayer book, and read Psalm 13 which was appointed for the morning. The psalmist captured perfectly the lament I’d heard on Sunday and what must be going through the minds and hearts of so many impacted by the devastation in Los Angeles.

1 How long, O LORD?

will you forget me for ever? *

how long will you hide your face from me?

 2 How long shall I have perplexity in my mind,

and grief in my heart, day after day? *

how long shall my enemy triumph over me? 

3 Look upon me and answer me, O LORD my God; *

give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death;

4 Lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," *

and my foes rejoice that I have fallen.

Whatever name we might give the enemy — fire, the Santa Ana winds, climate change, humanity’s hubris to seek our own good instead of the common good — its power feels immense. And in the face of such power, it is understandable to feel deep despair. The psalmist reminds us that lament is a normal and even faithful reaction to suffering. Then the psalmist reminds us that lament need not be devoid of hope. Even when we feel forgotten by God, we can trust in God’s mercy. 

5 But I put my trust in your mercy; *

my heart is joyful because of your saving help.

6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has dealt with me richly; *

 I will praise the Name of the Lord Most High.

So, even in the face of fire and destruction, we can find signs of God’s presence. I see Jesus in the people who have not lost their homes helping those who have, some donating items that are most needed while others ensure they are distributed. I see Jesus in the firefighters who must be exhausted yet continue working to contain and extinguish the fires. I see Episcopalians in the Diocese of Los Angeles working together to help those who have lost everything as they also continue to worship as a sign of their faith in the God who shows up.

One way you can be a sign of God’s mercy and presence is by making a donation to the Wildfire Response Fund at Episcopal Relief and Development. Your donation will support not only the immediate needs in the region but also the ongoing work that will continue long after the fires are extinguished.