Blessing of family
You may be surprised to read that my work at church and my family life do not directly intersect very often. As a generalization that statement isn’t totally accurate. Stephanie knew about my call to ordination before we started dating and, except for the first 11 months of Taylor’s life, I’ve been a parish priest for the kids’ entire lives.
But as Taylor and Eli grew up, Stephanie and I wanted church to be something more than the place I worked. We kept church at the center of our lives because we believed that’s what Christian families do. We wanted Taylor and Eli (and Stephanie) to find their own place at church, not only to be known as the Rector’s family.
To do that, we created what we hoped were healthy boundaries. I rarely worked from home while the kids were growing up. I didn’t (and still don’t) share any sensitive pastoral information at home. I don’t practice my sermons or share the challenges that come up in parish life. At home, I’ve tried to be a husband and father, not a priest.
But every once in a while, my identities as priest and dad intersect directly. I baptized Eli when they were two months old. I buried my grandmother, an aunt and uncle, and my parents. My mother-in-law has asked me to do the same for her (though she’s still very much alive and kicking!).
And this Saturday, September 30, I will officiate Taylor’s wedding, pronouncing that my son and his beloved, Nicole, are husband and wife. Eli is sure I’m going to cry, which is entirely possible because even while I’m being a priest, I will also be a very happy dad.
In the Episcopal Church we believe a wedding is a sacramental rite, a “means of God’s grace” to quote the Catechism in the Prayer Book. The central core of the wedding rite is not the moment when a couple is pronounced to be married, but the moment when the priest pronounces God’s blessing.
I’m using the intersection of father and priest as an excuse to be creative with the blessing for Taylor and Nicole. I’m combining words from the Book of Common Prayer, Enriching Our Worship, 1 Corinthians 13, and my own wishes for them into a blessing I hope will be as meaningful for them as it will be for me.
Most gracious God, we thank you for the great joy and comfort bestowed upon us in the gift of human love. We give you thanks for Taylor and Nicole and the covenant of faithfulness they have made. Pour out the abundance of your Holy Spirit upon them. Keep them in your steadfast love. When life is hard and the way ahead is unclear, fill them with wisdom and peace. When life is good and the way seems easy, fill them with gratitude and humility. Give them strength to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. May their love never end.
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you. God mercifully grant you rich and boundless grace; that you may faithfully live together in this life, and in the age to come have life everlasting. Amen.
