Advent :: Parishioner Reflection

In years past, Advent was a time for random acts of kindness, smiling and talking to more and different people. As the world got colder and I felt the season trying to drag me into its coldness, I fought it with brightness and joy. I was always smiling harder, and talking to more and more people trying to spread that joy almost as a sort of shield against the change of the seasons. This year, however, was suddenly much harder. I had to face one of my deepest fears, racking me with panic attacks constantly. It became a chore to drag myself to church, to try and feel connected to anything so my usual preparation waned. I would think about how our faith is all about service to others, and what good was I if I could not do that service? For me, that service was being the one to try to extend a hand to people often overlooked, and I couldn’t do that. I would think of the good samaritan and that I couldn’t be that person and that I was failing. 

On the steps up to the choir loft I looked around at all the people in this community, singing with me, always in my corner and I felt a weight off my shoulders. I realized that for every person who extends a hand in the bible, there's another person that accepts that hand. Both of these people are just as important as the other, and we are both of these hands at different points in our lives. This year, my preparation for Christ's coming is in accepting that sometimes we need to be the one to accept the hand outstretched to us, and be able to accept that when the season comes, sometimes it is our own hearts that need to be changed.

Evan Law, Parishioner